1
00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:05,672
We're on a limited budget, Cheyenne.
2
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:09,676
Just 'cause the diapers say "disposable,"
it doesn't mean you can't use 'em twice.
3
00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:13,388
What's goin' on?
4
00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:15,432
Oh, Van's bein' all cheap again
5
00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,934
'cause he's waiting for the team
to renew his contract.
6
00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:18,977
What's your agent say?
7
00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:20,437
I don't know. Let me ask him.
8
00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:22,355
Van, what do you think
about tryin' to get more money?
9
00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:24,149
I think it's best
not to rock the boat.
10
00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:27,193
He says it's best not to rock the boat.
11
00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:31,364
Van, you can't be your own agent.
The team won't take you seriously.
12
00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:33,992
What if I use a fake accent on the phone?
13
00:00:34,909 --> 00:00:36,828
[British accent]
That offer's a bloody insult.
14
00:00:37,912 --> 00:00:40,248
Can you give us
two more quid for the trolley?
15
00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:48,131
Hey, you know what?
I could negotiate your deal.
16
00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:50,592
Why, just yesterday
I cried my way out of a ticket.
17
00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:54,888
Are you both out of your minds?
18
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,598
Van, you need a professional.
19
00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:58,683
A football career won't last forever,
20
00:00:58,683 --> 00:01:01,686
and you need to get all the money
you possibly can now.
21
00:01:01,686 --> 00:01:03,271
Fine. I'll get a real agent.
22
00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:04,397
Good.
23
00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:06,524
[muttering] Let Brock be your agent.
24
00:01:06,524 --> 00:01:09,152
I swear, I have to tell everybody
to do everything all the time.
25
00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:11,362
I'm gettin' sick of it. Sick! Sick! Sick!
26
00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:16,743
[British accent] That one's got
a right hairy temper, she does.
27
00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:22,791
[Reba] Ha, hey!
28
00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:25,710
{\an8}♪ My roots are planted in the past ♪
29
00:01:25,710 --> 00:01:28,129
{\an8}♪ Though my life is changing fast ♪
30
00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:32,550
♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪
31
00:01:32,550 --> 00:01:35,220
{\an8}♪ A single mom who works too hard ♪
32
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:37,764
♪ Who loves her kids and never stops ♪
33
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:43,102
{\an8}♪ With gentle hands
And the heart of a fighter ♪
34
00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:47,899
{\an8}♪ I'm a survivor ♪
35
00:01:53,905 --> 00:01:57,909
Oh, shoot, Lori Ann.
I was lookin' forward to seein' ya.
36
00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:01,204
{\an8}No, no, no. If he left
the priesthood for ya,
37
00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:03,581
{\an8}the least you could do
is go to Jamaica with him.
38
00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:09,546
{\an8}Yeah, okay. Call me
when you get back. Bye.
39
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:12,048
{\an8}- Lori Ann's not flying in?
- No!
40
00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:14,425
{\an8}I had so much
I needed to talk to her about.
41
00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:16,052
{\an8}Well, you can talk to me.
42
00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:17,846
{\an8}Oh, thanks, Cheyenne,
43
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:21,141
{\an8}but most of it was about you,
and you tend to take your side.
44
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:24,352
Hey, Mom.
45
00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:26,729
Hey, "girl in blonde" jokes.
46
00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:30,608
{\an8}Well, let me tell you something
about red hair, Kyra.
47
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:33,611
You're lucky Mom's here.
48
00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:40,827
{\an8}Congratulate me. The top agent
in my league might represent me.
49
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,829
{\an8}[gasps] Wow. That's fantastic.
50
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:45,165
- Why "might"?
- Yeah, what's the catch?
51
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,167
Well, she won't represent
problem athletes,
52
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,335
so her thing is to meet
the family and check 'em out.
53
00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:52,589
{\an8}Wait, wait. So she's gonna judge us?
54
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:54,549
{\an8}I hate being judged. I love judging.
55
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:59,512
{\an8}You better give me plenty
of warning before this woman comes over.
56
00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:01,764
{\an8}- She'll be here in two hours.
- What?
57
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,517
{\an8}Just deciding what to wear
takes two hours!
58
00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:07,687
{\an8}Hold all my calls. I'll be in my closet.
59
00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:11,107
{\an8}Don't worry, Van. We'll make you proud.
60
00:03:11,107 --> 00:03:13,776
{\an8}Proud? Look around this place, buddy.
61
00:03:13,776 --> 00:03:17,071
{\an8}You live with the divorced mother
of your teenage bride due to pregnancy,
62
00:03:17,071 --> 00:03:18,990
whose dad ran off
with his dental assistant,
63
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:20,325
also with child.
64
00:03:22,827 --> 00:03:24,871
I may claim to be pregnant just to fit in.
65
00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:29,292
She's right.
We're practically circus people!
66
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:31,586
Practically?
67
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:34,339
Put Barbra Jean in a tiny car,
and we could sell tickets.
68
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,563
Jake, why are you wearin'
last year's church suit?
69
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:53,566
Van told me I had to dress up
if I wanted to come out of my room...
70
00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,151
so I wouldn't make him look bad.
71
00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,155
Who looks bad now?
72
00:04:01,824 --> 00:04:03,368
Where's your new suit?
73
00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:04,953
Remember for Halloween,
74
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:06,955
how I asked if I could be a businessman
75
00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:09,415
who got stabbed a thousand times,
but you said no?
76
00:04:10,458 --> 00:04:13,795
Well, I kind of already made the costume.
77
00:04:16,547 --> 00:04:18,341
I'm sending myself to my room now.
78
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:19,300
Mm-hmm.
79
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:26,975
So, how do I look?
80
00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:30,645
Cheyenne, my agent's a woman.
Put those away.
81
00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:36,693
Guys, just calm down.
Everything's gonna be fine.
82
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:38,236
- [doorbell rings]
- [yelps]
83
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:42,073
Here we go.
84
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,409
Is the sports agent here?
85
00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:47,078
Oh, Van, this is so excitin'.
86
00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:50,581
Jerry Maguire is my favorite movie ever.
87
00:04:52,166 --> 00:04:56,254
I have written Tom Cruise
over 1,500 letters.
88
00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,133
Mrs. H, the circus is in town.
89
00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:07,640
Barbra Jean, I'm sure the agent
just wants to meet the family.
90
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:11,185
I am family. And I would never
miss a family meeting.
91
00:05:11,769 --> 00:05:14,772
Especially when I'm all alone
over there in that great big house,
92
00:05:14,772 --> 00:05:17,400
Kyra off at a concert, walls closing in,
93
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,068
bottle of Jack callin' my name.
94
00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:23,114
- [doorbell rings]
- [yelps]
95
00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:24,449
I'll get it. I'll get it.
96
00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:29,454
Yes, Ted, I'm sure
it's a very, very nice offer.
97
00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:30,663
You know what I'm gonna do?
98
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:34,500
I'll take it home and put it
in the bottom of my birdcage.
99
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,711
Listen to me, Ted. It's very simple.
100
00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:39,047
My client makes your fans happy.
101
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:42,341
And happy fans buy tickets
and pay for parking
102
00:05:42,341 --> 00:05:45,970
and enjoy that expensive
tinkle water that you call beer.
103
00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:47,472
I'll get back to you.
104
00:05:48,347 --> 00:05:50,850
I'm so sorry. Sadie Owens.
105
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:52,810
Reba Hart. I'm Van's mother-in-law.
106
00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:53,853
That was awesome.
107
00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:56,522
- Tinkle water.
- [giggling]
108
00:05:58,066 --> 00:06:00,193
- Oh, this is my wife, Cheyenne.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.
109
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,695
Barbra Jean Hart. [chuckling] Hey.
110
00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:05,865
Reba and I have the same last name
because I married her ex, Brock.
111
00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:11,788
We're currently separated,
but his teenage daughter, Kyra,
112
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:14,123
still lives with me
even though Brock moved out.
113
00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:17,794
He's on pills.
114
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:23,883
So, should we all sit down?
115
00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:25,218
Oh, please, sit, yes.
116
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,427
Yes, yes, sit.
117
00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:31,182
So, this is my home. These are my peeps.
118
00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:36,395
Sadie, I just love that Jerry Maguire.
119
00:06:36,395 --> 00:06:39,398
When Cuba Gooding Jr. asked Tom Cruise
120
00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:41,526
if he shoplifted the pooty... [laughing]
121
00:06:43,611 --> 00:06:44,946
I about spit up.
122
00:06:47,031 --> 00:06:48,157
Yeah, it was a great film.
123
00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:50,576
Do you mind if I get to know
the other people here?
124
00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:51,744
Right. Sure.
125
00:06:53,454 --> 00:06:56,124
Sadie, if you're wondering
what kind of guy Van is
126
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:59,961
or what his family's like, well,
I can assure you we're not perfect,
127
00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:01,921
- but we do have lots of love.
- Mmm.
128
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:04,382
- As a matter of fact--
- She said zip it!
129
00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:11,556
So, Sadie-- Oh, I just love that name.
130
00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:14,934
[giggles] How do you spell that?
With a "y" or an "ie"?
131
00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:18,479
I don't think anyone spells it with a "y."
132
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:21,774
So with an "ie"?
133
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:25,945
Knock it off, Cheyenne.
134
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:29,699
What do you care how she spells it?
135
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:32,034
- Well, you ask her something, Van.
- I will.
136
00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:34,787
So, how long you been
spelling it that way?
137
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,125
You threw me off!
138
00:07:42,753 --> 00:07:44,714
Hey, everybody. Sorry I'm late.
139
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,884
- Barbra Jean.
- Brock.
140
00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:51,429
Mr. H, I'm so glad you're here.
This is Sadie Owens.
141
00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,097
- Brock Hart.
- Hi.
142
00:07:53,097 --> 00:07:57,310
So, wow!
A woman sports agent, huh? [chuckles]
143
00:07:57,310 --> 00:08:00,730
Yes, you know, women have made
great strides in the last hundred years.
144
00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:07,653
Great. Between you and your daughter,
you're killing me.
145
00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:11,991
Sorry. I didn't mean to offend you.
146
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:15,286
It's just that, ah, for a while
I thought I might represent Van.
147
00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:16,496
Oh, are you an agent?
148
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,622
I'm a pro golfer.
149
00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:20,500
And a part-time dentist.
150
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,376
Oh. You're the one on the pills.
151
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:27,965
Isn't he hilarious?
Don't ya just want to laugh at him?
152
00:08:29,717 --> 00:08:32,094
- We have company judging us.
- Yep, yep, yep, yep.
153
00:08:32,094 --> 00:08:34,931
Barbra Jean, just because
we're not living together
154
00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:36,224
doesn't mean we can't be civil.
155
00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:37,850
Ooh, Sadie, could you move the table?
156
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:40,019
I'm gonna roll around with laughter.
157
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:43,648
Why are you being so hostile?
You asked me to move out.
158
00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:46,859
Oh, and you just sprinted towards
the door, didn't you, big fella?
159
00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:49,529
Barbra Jean, Mr. H! Kitchen! Now!
160
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:52,031
So we can celebrate
how well this is all goin'.
161
00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:56,702
[B.J.] Somebody's put on
a few in the keister.
162
00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:58,746
Doesn't stop you
from lookin' at it, does it?
163
00:08:58,746 --> 00:09:01,541
- Oh, I'll look at it if I want to!
- [laughing]
164
00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:08,047
Cheyenne, why don't you tell Sadie
how you're studyin' to become a dentist?
165
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:11,592
Oh, yeah. I just really
want to help teeth. [giggles]
166
00:09:14,595 --> 00:09:16,973
I'm sorry. I'm just really nervous,
167
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:18,766
and I'm trying not to say the wrong thing,
168
00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:20,810
but I keep sayin'
the wrong thing. [chuckles]
169
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:23,896
Van should've never got me pregnant
and married at 17. Oh, my God!
170
00:09:25,314 --> 00:09:26,440
I did it again.
171
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:32,780
Well, those are his peeps.
172
00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:33,823
[chuckles]
173
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:39,161
Look, I don't expect
any family to be perfect.
174
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:42,748
I have kids and an ex-husband
and a crazy family of my own.
175
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:45,001
Yeah, but you haven't met all of 'em.
176
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:47,295
Our other daughter, Kyra,
she lives with her dad.
177
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:49,547
I have a daughter
who lives with her father too.
178
00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:51,591
- Oh, really?
- Yeah, I miss her like crazy,
179
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:55,136
but she makes his life so miserable
that somehow it all evens out.
180
00:10:01,642 --> 00:10:03,978
We really do have a lot in common.
181
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:09,900
I was just sayin' this morning how I miss
havin' somebody I can relate to.
182
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:11,277
It gets lonely sometimes.
183
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:12,528
Tell me about it.
184
00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:14,113
I started talking to my bird.
185
00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:17,074
But you, I don't understand
how you can be lonely.
186
00:10:17,074 --> 00:10:19,702
Well, you know, my girlfriend,
she moved away,
187
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:22,288
and she was supposed
to come visit this weekend.
188
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:26,792
But she had to cancel
because she's in this "new relationship."
189
00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:29,128
Well, maybe you'll meet someone new.
190
00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:30,504
Yeah, that'd be nice.
191
00:10:31,255 --> 00:10:32,506
Hey, you know what?
192
00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:35,217
Maybe you and I could
get together sometime and hang out.
193
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:37,178
- Really?
- Yeah.
194
00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:41,641
Well, yeah, sure.
You know, this is wild because...
195
00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:44,060
this is actually
what I've sort of been hoping
196
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:46,479
would happen ever since I switched teams.
197
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:47,521
Teams?
198
00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:54,487
- But if you're an agent, how--
- No, not sports teams.
199
00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,158
Oh.
200
00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:02,036
Yeah, I got a divorce,
and then I realized I'm gay. [chuckles]
201
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:11,295
Oh!
202
00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:14,548
It's just another thing we have in common.
203
00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:22,932
- Oh?
- Yeah, it's okay.
204
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:24,850
No, Van already told me you were gay.
205
00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:34,652
Oh!
206
00:11:45,162 --> 00:11:47,081
So Van told you I was gay?
207
00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:49,875
[stammers] Was he not supposed to?
I'm sorry.
208
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:51,669
I mean, he was so up-front about it.
209
00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:53,879
Well, the truth is
he said you were super gay.
210
00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:00,010
He did, did he?
211
00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:03,931
Oh, he always was a talkative little poot.
212
00:12:03,931 --> 00:12:05,516
[laughs]
213
00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:09,103
Yeah, just talk, talk, talk. [laughs]
214
00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:12,064
Could you excuse me just for a second?
215
00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:12,982
Yeah.
216
00:12:17,194 --> 00:12:19,029
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
217
00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:23,534
Let me ask you a question, Van.
218
00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:26,454
- Why did you tell Sadie I was gay?
- What?
219
00:12:27,204 --> 00:12:29,707
I never said that. Why would I say that?
220
00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:33,502
Did you tell her I was super gay?
221
00:12:33,502 --> 00:12:34,753
- Oh, yeah.
- [exclaims]
222
00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:39,800
Well, I didn't mean to. Sadie and I
were talking about our favorite cities,
223
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,594
and I said I really liked Lubbock.
224
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:44,638
She mentioned San Francisco.
I wanted to sound clever and make a joke.
225
00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:46,265
But I don't know anything
about San Francisco
226
00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:47,600
but cable cars and gay people.
227
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:48,767
Van!
228
00:12:48,767 --> 00:12:50,519
So I made a joke about gay people.
229
00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:52,021
And it wasn't funny apparently,
230
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:55,149
because she looks at me
kind of offended and says,
231
00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:58,068
"Van, I'm gay. Do you have
a problem with gay people?"
232
00:12:58,068 --> 00:13:01,113
I'm like, "Oh, no, not at all.
My mother-in-law's super gay."
233
00:13:09,788 --> 00:13:11,040
I love you, man.
234
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:12,791
Ow.
235
00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:17,171
Sadie is gay? This top is perfect.
236
00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:23,761
She... she probably hasn't
even heard a word I've said.
237
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,975
You're gonna go right in there
right now and tell her the truth.
238
00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:32,937
Wait, Mrs. H. If she knows I lied,
she'll refuse to represent me.
239
00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:36,148
Believe me, lesbians do not
find this kind of thing funny.
240
00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:38,275
They really don't.
241
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:44,281
And, Mrs. H, if she doesn't represent me,
242
00:13:44,281 --> 00:13:47,201
then all the other agents will
think there's something wrong with me.
243
00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:51,205
And who will be my agent then,
the golfing dentist with the bad accent?
244
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,794
I can't keep rationing diapers, Mom.
245
00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:59,713
And I want things. Shiny, fancy things.
246
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:03,717
Maybe you could just go with it
for a few minutes.
247
00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:06,136
Yeah, come on, Reba. What's a few minutes?
248
00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:08,389
Yeah, just don't go
to Massachusetts, Reba.
249
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:13,060
They're making them get married.
250
00:14:16,605 --> 00:14:20,568
It's a little more complicated than
just fibbing about it for a few minutes.
251
00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:23,195
I may have already asked her out.
252
00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:28,909
Wait. Wait a second, Mom.
What exactly did you say?
253
00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:31,829
Well, that maybe we could
hang out sometime together.
254
00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:33,163
That seems pretty innocent.
255
00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:36,000
Because my girlfriend moved out
of town, and I was lonely.
256
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,047
All right. Just hang on a second.
257
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:45,217
Saying "maybe we could hang out"
doesn't mean you asked her out on a date.
258
00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:46,760
- Yeah.
- Really?
259
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,554
Absolutely. You got nothing
to worry about.
260
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:52,182
Hey, guys, there's a boy
in a tiny suit in there watching TV.
261
00:14:53,475 --> 00:14:55,686
I'm so sorry. I was just comin' out.
262
00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:58,314
Of the kitchen. I was--
263
00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:02,568
Oh, I was... I was just
comin' out of the kitchen.
264
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:05,738
Look, I... I have to go anyway,
but it's been real.
265
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:08,240
No, wait a second.
This isn't my real family.
266
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,909
They're... they're circus people.
267
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,118
All right, Van, Van.
268
00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:13,245
I like them.
269
00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:15,748
And I'm looking forward
to representing you.
270
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:16,749
[gasps]
271
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:19,793
- What? You'll be my agent?
- Mm-hmm.
272
00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:21,712
[squeals]
273
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,340
- This is so great!
- [Cheyenne] Yeah!
274
00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:27,092
I'll start on Van's deal right way,
and it was great meeting you.
275
00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:29,136
Oh, thank you so much. Thanks.
276
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:31,555
[Cheyenne squeals]
277
00:15:31,555 --> 00:15:33,307
I am so glad that's over with.
278
00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:36,185
I am never gettin' myself
in that situation again.
279
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:38,646
- Hey, Reba, I almost forgot.
- Hmm?
280
00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:41,690
Shall I pick you up tomorrow night
at 8:00, and we can hang out?
281
00:15:46,528 --> 00:15:47,363
Super.
282
00:15:58,707 --> 00:16:01,418
Where's your mother?
It's almost time for her date.
283
00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:03,087
Van, I would stop calling it that.
284
00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:05,965
And stop singing that song
about her and Sadie in a tree.
285
00:16:08,425 --> 00:16:10,511
Did I miss it? Did you take pictures?
286
00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:13,180
Oh, my gosh! Did they look adorable?
287
00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:18,435
Oh, Reba, you are definitely
gonna be the pretty one.
288
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:26,860
I don't think I can go through with this.
289
00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:30,364
Mom, this is really important
for our future, okay?
290
00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:32,825
Sadie could take his career
to a whole new level.
291
00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:35,869
Sadie's a nice person.
I don't like lying to her.
292
00:16:35,869 --> 00:16:37,955
Mrs. H, I know this has been tough on you.
293
00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:40,207
But I promise you,
the second the deal's done,
294
00:16:40,207 --> 00:16:41,959
I will tell Sadie the truth.
295
00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:44,253
I don't care what she thinks about me.
You are more important.
296
00:16:44,753 --> 00:16:46,046
- [doorbell rings]
- [yelps]
297
00:16:49,633 --> 00:16:51,844
Hey, I've got big news.
298
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:55,180
What news? Is it about my deal?
Is it... is it done? Is it good?
299
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:58,017
Well, if you consider a 25% raise
300
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,853
and an added third year good,
then yeah, I'd say it's pretty good.
301
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,688
Twenty-five percent? Third year?
302
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:03,647
So it's all done?
303
00:17:03,647 --> 00:17:05,774
- It's all done.
- [cheering]
304
00:17:05,774 --> 00:17:08,318
- We are so rich!
- [laughs]
305
00:17:08,318 --> 00:17:10,154
I'm so happy for you, Van.
306
00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:11,363
Thanks, Mrs. H.
307
00:17:17,494 --> 00:17:18,746
I need to tell you something.
308
00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:20,497
I know, and you're welcome.
309
00:17:20,497 --> 00:17:23,542
Now, you just wait until you see how badly
310
00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:25,961
we're gonna nail 'em
on your next three-year deal.
311
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:29,089
- Have a nice dinner.
- Yeah.
312
00:17:34,636 --> 00:17:36,805
Barbra Jean, could you, uh,
give us a minute, please?
313
00:17:36,805 --> 00:17:39,141
Oh, sure. Oh, by the way,
314
00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:41,018
I have a suggestion
on where you guys can go.
315
00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:43,270
I have a suggestion where you can go too.
316
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:47,816
I thought gay people were jolly.
317
00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,111
[door closes]
318
00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:53,739
Okay, Reba, what's goin' on?
319
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:55,949
Well, here's the thing.
[chuckles nervously]
320
00:17:55,949 --> 00:17:58,911
It's a little bit funny,
depending on your sense of humor.
321
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:05,542
You see, I'm a tiny little bit
less gay than Van said I was.
322
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,921
Oh, so you're not super gay?
323
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:12,382
No. I have no powers
of gayness whatsoever.
324
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:17,179
Oh.
325
00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:20,224
Look, I'm sorry. When Van told you that,
326
00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:22,893
he was just tryin' to cover up
some lame joke of his.
327
00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:24,978
Yeah, I see. I see. I mean...
328
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:29,108
I should've known. This happens to me
all the time. [chuckles]
329
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,567
See, I got no gaydar.
330
00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:37,991
How am I supposed to meet women?
I got no gaydar.
331
00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:39,827
I got no dates. I got nothin'.
332
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:45,207
It's because I'm no good.
I'm bad. I am a bad lesbian.
333
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:52,172
Well, for as long as I've been a lesbian,
334
00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:54,216
I can tell ya, it's not easy.
335
00:18:58,220 --> 00:18:59,721
When you come out of the closet,
336
00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:01,807
they never tell you
how hard it's gonna be.
337
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:04,393
All the TV shows and magazines,
they make it look so easy.
338
00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:07,062
"Oh, get out in the world.
The women are waiting for you."
339
00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:11,150
Well, you just look out there and tell me
if you see any available women.
340
00:19:18,782 --> 00:19:20,534
[inaudible]
341
00:19:22,786 --> 00:19:24,288
Yeah, it's ugly out there.
342
00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:29,209
I don't know. I just...
343
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:32,588
I just get a little lonely sometimes.
That's all.
344
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:33,922
Yeah, I know.
345
00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:36,466
Like when your best friend moves away,
346
00:19:36,466 --> 00:19:39,803
and you think you've found someone
you could be friends with,
347
00:19:39,803 --> 00:19:42,139
but then you blow it
by pretending to be gay.
348
00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:43,974
Why do you think you blew it?
349
00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:46,560
If you lied to me,
I wouldn't want to be friends with you.
350
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,855
Reba, I'm an agent. I'm gonna lie to you.
351
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:56,069
Hey, we both lie.
That's another thing we have in common.
352
00:19:56,069 --> 00:19:57,571
[laughs]
353
00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:00,741
So, I guess that means
we can still go to dinner.
354
00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:04,536
I'm gonna have to cancel the violinist,
and you have to pay your own way.
355
00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:05,913
[laughs]
356
00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:09,208
Hey, you're not the kind of friend
357
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,293
who runs off to Jamaica
with a nun, are you?
358
00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:12,920
Uh, won't make that mistake twice.
359
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,171
[laughs]
360
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:23,388
Wait. Wait a sec.
I don't even wear contacts.
361
00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:25,599
No, you don't, do you?
362
00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:27,559
Stupid.
363
00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:28,769
Where are you guys going?
364
00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:30,646
- Out to dinner.
- Don't wait up.
365
00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:32,814
Oh, my gosh.
366
00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:34,566
She turned Reba.
367
00:20:38,111 --> 00:20:39,655
Elizabeth's gonna have two grandmas.
368
00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:40,781
I know!
369
00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:49,623
[theme music playing]